Lately I have been having days, well actually weeks when I am starting to question how I deal with my diabetes. I have used an insulin pump for 15 years and don’t really want to change back to injections. For me a pump is more convenient and allows multiple basal rates and easy bolusing through the day. I have used a continuous glucose monitor for 10 years and can’t or don’t want to imagine doing without the constant blood glucose numbers on my phone and watch. 

But lately I feel as though my tech has been failing me and I’ll show that through a couple of photos below.

The first day of a new Dexcom G5 sensor:

The graph of a pod starting to fail after less than two days. The downslope reflects a new pod:

But what if it isn’t my tech? What if it is just my body and my diabetes? I have seen a ton of crazy up arrows on my Dexcom in recent weeks and many of them have been unexpected. I am quick to blame the sensor but unfortunately most of the time my meter has confirmed the Himalayan-esque rises and falls. But sometimes it is the sensor. I have had numerous high BG numbers that have not resolved until I changed out a Tandem infusion set or these days, a new Pod. But sometimes the highs are from last night’s pizza or the second or third glass of wine. 

Most of the time I just don’t know. Why doesn’t diabetes just tell me the answer!?!

I know that my life is a constant science experiment and I am usually pretty good at figuring out what is going on. Although I get frustrated, angry, and guilty at some of my aberrant Dexcom graphs, I do my best to correct the numbers as quickly as possible. My A1c’s continue to be good and I feel good most of the time. And when I don’t feel good, arthritis is the culprit not endocrine issues. But Type 1 is always in the background laughing at my attempts at perfection. I‘m caught in the hamster wheel of trying to get it right. All of the time. But not changing my ways.

Sometimes I think the hardest part of diabetes is not always knowing the “why’s” of what is going on. Is my rising blood sugar this evening a result of what I ate for dinner? Or is my infusion site giving out? Is there a problem with air in my pump cartridge? Is the insulin old and compromised by the heat of my rechargeable pump battery? Most of us are familiar with the list that Adam Brown of Diatribe compiled titled “42 Factors That Affect Blood Glucose.” They all make sense but a checklist of possibilities doesn’t always help me dig out of today’s hole.

Why can’t degraded insulin turn purple? Why can’t my Dexcom have a footnote specifying whether a number is reliable or fantasy? Why can’t my body tell me whether an early morning high is hormones or a pod gone bad? Why can’t I have the type of diabetes that only drifts high and low instead of Dex double-upping or double-downing? I could go on with more why’s but I think you get the picture. 

To tell you the truth, I suspect that if blood glucose numbers were the #1 aim in my life, I would be better served by eating a Bernstein-ian ultra low carb diet and using a cocktail of insulin by injection. Although tech is great, I am lately not finding it to be very reliable. But I am stubborn and am somewhat addicted to the toys and challenge of diabetes tech.

So instead of going back to the basics, I am currently using an Omnipod in anticipation of starting to Loop. I have used three pods and not one of them has made it to 48 hours before soaring blood sugars. And I don’t know why. The idea that Looping with Omnipod is going to be successful for me is probably a pipe dream.

I think I might be dealing with diabetes distress but that’s not the subject of this post….