Playing Nice in the DOC Sandbox

Laddie_Head SquareI try to be open-minded when it comes to my online/offline interactions with people affected by diabetes. On one hand, I can be as snarky and self-centered as anyone. On the other hand, I have learned that being kind and supportive gets easier with practice and soon becomes a very nice way to lead one’s life. I have definitely had good role models in the DOC and I thank you all. I am also old enough that I have learned that there is no right answer to every question and no guarantee that doing the “right” thing will guarantee good results. So I try to be understanding of other people and usually I succeed.

Last weekend I unwittingly became the the central character in an unpleasant diabetes online experience. Neither the group nor subject is important. I have pretty thick skin and was more stunned than hurt by the barrage of comments. I suppose one problem with the Internet is that although you can control what you write, you can’t always control how your words and intent are received. I don’t pretend to be perfect and am willing to accept responsibility for my missteps although I still don’t quite understand what happened.

I’ve spent a fair amount of time this week thinking about my responsibilities as a member of the DOC. I had a recollection that some blogger once outlined behavior suggestions for the diabetes community. The few longtime DOC bloggers whom I asked about this didn’t think that such a thing existed. Chances are that I once read an article about general online etiquette and that stuck in my mind.

Whenever you have interpersonal problems, I think that the best thing you can do is take a deep breath and reread Robert Fulghum’s list of things to be learned in kindergarten. It always makes me smile.Kindergarten Rules_3

Now that we’re feeling all warm and cozy, let’s consider the DOC and whether there should be a code of conduct. The bloggers whom I recently contacted and the DSMA Tweet Chat of 9/3/14 were unanimous in the opinion that there should be no rules for the diabetes online community. According to one writer, rules would go against the “organic flow” of the community. I think that means that we’re an opinionated and rowdy bunch who have a modicum of common sense along with compassion and mutual respect. But when all is said and done, a few rules did come out of the discussion.

Here you go, DOC Friends!  (with special thanks to K-bloggers Kerri, Kelly, and Kim)

DOC Rules

And I’m going to add one more:

4. If someone screws up, give them the opportunity to learn and then forgive them.

If four rules are too much for you to deal with, just go with #3.

Don’t be a Jerk Face.*

That covers just about everything.

* a descriptive term that only Kerri could think of